Smoldering
Smoldering (not the romance novel kind). Let me explain. I’ve boarded the plane for Savannah, Georgia. The trip started with a beautiful wedding invitation. Initially the plan was to make a quick weekend trip (fly in, party at the wedding, and fly out). Until I quickly realized that I had not taken a vacation in over a year and a half…16 months and counting. The feeling was Not “burn out”. It was something different – like a big ole’ fire slowly going out – a slow smoldering. Nothing too exaggerated, no major red flags, just a tiredness that I felt deeper than I expected.
This feeling was surprising because I’ve been doing self care and have been taking care of myself. I am setting and meeting my own intentions. And I have planned girls trip on the calendar. And yet…. What I craved was novelty, joy, and adventure of a trip and travel. It didn’t even occur to me until the idea of travelling was presented. A part of travelling is the joy of doing it with others, so there was a part of me that postponed travel waiting for the “right time” to do it with friends. And so, I kept putting it off. This month, I want to share how this smoldering snuck up on me and what I am doing to reignite.
I love my work. I have been fully engaged with showing up for clients and creating new projects. I am extremely fortunate that I LOVE what I do. Because my work is flexible and I have control of my schedule, it doesn’t compute that I need a planned break and time off. Smoldering snuck up on me because I was not attuned to the importance of taking dedicated breaks regardless of how much I love work.
Novelty is a quality of newness. Starting in December 2024, I’ve been working on creating an entire new routine for myself. These routines include morning and evening routines, work routines, cleaning schedules, across the board a new way of life. So being in a routine has been a goal. I have been so focused on creating and applying a routine that I did not recognize the smoke. I’m learning is that purposefully shaking up the routine can be enjoyable when creating novelty. Last night, I went to the theater to watch an Agatha Christy play. It was enough to fill my cup and bring about novelty. Travel can bring about large novelty and create sparks to relight the fire inside.
My own reasons and excuses. I have been postponing travel… ugh. I kept telling myself all the reasons it wasn’t feasible or fathomable. Reasons that sounded like: “I don’t have the time; I should wait for friends to travel with; I have too many responsibilities right now.” Both reasons and excuses are valid and may have hints of truth in them. And yet…. If I want adventures, what can I do to add more space for more activities? (Points if you recognized this reference). Smoldering includes times of identifying my own excuses when I hold myself back.
It is funny because this idea of smoldering snuck up on me. I didn’t give it much weight and to be honest the impact wasn’t affecting me in a large unruly way. I had so many other areas in my life that were enjoyable and full. Yet, travel provides novelty and adventure for me and I didn’t realize that area was lacking.
Moving forward I am a little more aware of the feeling of smoldering. Creating specific time off creates a dedicate break in my brain that signifies Time Off. Novelty is a new way to embed joy into my life and I can get novelty with the joy of travel. I am planning mini travel trips and adventurous trips on my calendar! And keeping an eye on my reasons and excuses are great indicators that I am in fact, smoldering.
Question for you:
What area in your life is smoldering? Look at areas where you tell yourself “it is not soooo bad”. Or “I’ve been super comfortable here”
What do you need / want more of that you have been forgoing?
What can you scatter throughout your own schedule for some purposeful novelty in the next 6 months?
