From Chaos to Clarity: How Facing the Present Transformed My Life

Hello superstars! Today I write about the present. Have you ever found yourself feeling stuck and wondering what happened in your life? Or where are you in life? Or maybe looking at your present situation and asking, “what the heck!?”   A few months ago, this was me. I was completely lost. I didn’t know what I was doing with my life or where I was in life or how I even got there. I was living passively and things just happened and I docilely went along with whatever was going on. One day I woke up and thought to myself, “Self, what is going on?” And we had a pretty deep discussion of where we were presently and where we wanted to be in the future.

So, in a situation like that, the first place to start is with evaluating the present. Here ‘s what I learned. Almost magically, I had just blinked and I was the mother of an 18-year-old young man, I was feeling burned out at work, and I my finances were all over the place. I was anxious, not sleeping well, and feeling harassed most of the time. Not to mention my health was declining. Just thinking about it again is stressful. Anyway, my present was looking very bleak.

So, where to start? I broke my present into family, work, and life. This helped me to manage most aspects of my life without feeling incredibly overwhelmed. I started with family. I took the time to really think about my present relationships. I found that my relationship with my son need much repair. It was not pretty and it was not easy. But I did a lot of introspection to acknowledge that the dynamic between mother and son were not the same. As a single mother that really hurt. I did the whole blame, guilt, shame thing and then realized that ruminating about the past would not change anything. So, I had to switch my focus on our present relationship, current communication style, and ways to address where I fell short. Although there has been some progress, it’s still an ongoing struggle. And the present continues.

I then did some introspection on other important relationships with family members and realized that I was not putting in as much effort as I wanted. I blamed my exhaustion, being busy, or just plain procrastination for the reason. But it didn’t matter. What mattered is that I recognized that I was unsatisfied with my current relationships and something needed to change.

Of course it’s easy to use the work excuse. This was one of the main reasons my family relationships were suffering. “I can’t talk too long because I’m tired from work,” or “I only have a few minutes before I have to see a client,” and, “I’m fully booked this week and don’t have time to do so and so…” were excuses I used all the time. I don’t want to be a workaholic, and I’m not. I only used those excuses because it was convenient. I was really emotionally burned out and physically unhealthy. I took the time to look at my present work load. I admitted that my schedule was workable and that I mismanaged my time. I looked into how I was spending my time on a day-by-day basis. And in came LIFE!

Now, let’s talk about life aspects. I found that I spent and exorbitant amount of time worrying. I worried about work, finances, my health, son, sister, parents, husband, my dog…the list was extensive! My anxiety ate away hours at a time, especially at night time. This had a ripple effect on my sleep and I felt physically exhausted most of the day. This impacted the time I spent preparing meals which meant that I ate out (unhealthy fast food) more occasions than not. I recognized that my sister fed me healthy nutritional meals as often as she could, but I found myself craving sugar and carbs. So, what happens when you add sleep deprivation to unhealthy eating habits and stress…. well, that’s the perfect combination for, you guessed, health issues. Because of course I was not exercising when I felt so tired and would rather spend my time scrolling social media or getting lost in a Netflix series.

I know! I know! My present was all over the place and it took a lot of self-discipline to take a long hard look at my present and say “Hello, you are a hot mess!” And that is where I started my coaching journey. It has been great and rewarding and it has been hard and challenging. But if you’re stuck, feeling like you’re on a rollercoaster and not sure where to turn, register for a complimentary strategy session with a Live Life Fully Coach.  Coaching changed my life; it might be just as impactful for you.  I started with dissecting my present and can honestly say I live life with more intention and meaning now.  Honor yourself, schedule a strategy call and let’s see what is next for you.  Until then, live life fully superstars!

Your coach,
Tamara