Procrastinating? It's Probably Not What You Think

Procrastinating? It's Probably Not What You Think

If you've ever sat down to do something important and somehow ended up reorganizing a drawer instead, this conversation is for you.

Because most of us have been told a story about procrastination that simply isn't true.

We've been told it's about discipline. Or willpower. Or being lazy. Or just needing to "buckle down" and push through.

And if any of that actually worked, you would have already done the thing by now.

That's really where this conversation begins.

What's Actually Happening When You Procrastinate

Here's the truth.

When you keep putting something off, it's almost never about being lazy. It's about something underneath the surface that hasn't been named yet.

Sometimes it's overwhelm. The project feels too big, and your brain doesn't know where to start, so it picks anything else.

Sometimes it's worry. Worry about how it's going to be received. Worry about whether you have the skills. Worry about how much time it's going to take. Worry about what people will think.

And sometimes it's just that you've never stopped long enough to ask yourself what's really going on.

That last part is the one that changes everything.

Because once you actually pause and ask, the answer almost always shows up. And it's almost never what you assumed.

The Question That Changes Everything

When you catch yourself avoiding the thing, instead of telling yourself to just get it done, try asking a different question.

What am I worried about?

That's it. That's the question.

Not "what's wrong with me." Not "how come I can't just push through." Just… what am I actually worried about right now?

And then you write it down. Every single thing. Even the ones that sound silly when you read them back.

What you'll usually find is that some of those worries are real and need a plan. Some of them are old beliefs that have been hanging around since long before this project ever existed. And some of them, when you actually look at them on paper, you can cross right off.

The List You Need to Make

There's something about writing your worries down that takes the power out of them.

When they're swirling around in your head, they feel huge. They feel true. They feel like reasons.

But once you put them on paper and look at them, you start to see them for what they are.

Some of them are practical. Things you can actually plan for or solve.

Some of them are stories. Stories you've been carrying for so long that you forgot they were even stories to begin with.

And some of them are just noise. The kind of background fear that shows up anytime you're about to do something that matters.

When you can see them clearly, you can decide what to do with each one.

Sometimes You Need Someone Else to Shine the Light

Here's something that doesn't get talked about enough.

You can't always see your own worries clearly.

You can stare at your list and still believe every single thing on it. You can know in your head that some of it isn't reasonable and still feel completely stuck because of it.

That's where having someone else makes the difference.

Someone who can ask you a better question than the one you've been asking yourself.

There was a project I had been avoiding for a long time. And one of my coaches asked me a single question. She said, would you actually let it get to the point where your family would be in financial ruin?

And I said no. Of course not. I would never let that happen.

And she said, well, then it sounds like you can take that worry off the list.

That was it. That was the whole moment.

She didn't lecture me. She didn't talk me out of anything. She just asked me one question and gave me permission to release something I had been carrying around for months.

That's what coaching actually does.

It helps you see what you couldn't see on your own.

Stop Calling Yourself Lazy

I want to say this part really clearly.

You're not lazy.

I know it might feel that way. I know that's the word that keeps showing up in your head. I know it's the easy explanation when the laundry is piling up and the email is unanswered and the project is still untouched.

But laziness isn't usually what's actually going on.

You might be tired. You might be carrying more than anyone around you realizes. You might be running so hard without a plan that you've worn yourself down to the point where everything feels like too much.

You might be discouraged. You might have tried this before and watched it not work, and now your brain is protecting you from trying again.

You might be worried. You might be overwhelmed. You might just need someone to help you take the next step.

None of those things make you lazy.

They make you human.

How to Talk to Yourself Through This

When you catch yourself in the middle of avoiding something, the worst thing you can do is start beating yourself up about it.

Because shame doesn't move you forward. It just makes the thing feel even heavier.

What actually helps is acknowledging both at the same time.

Yes, this hasn't happened yet. And here's what I have done.

Yes, I'm avoiding this. And here's what I'm going to do about it now.

You can hold space for both. The thing that's still undone, and the truth of who you are and what you're capable of.

That's how you start moving again.

Not by pretending. Not by forcing yourself. Not by lying to yourself with affirmations your brain knows aren't true.

But by being honest, getting curious, and giving yourself the kind of grace you'd give anyone else who came to you struggling.

What I Want You to Take From This

If you've been calling yourself lazy, I want you to try something different.

The next time you catch yourself avoiding something, pause and ask what you're actually worried about. Write it down. All of it.

Then look at the list and decide which ones need a plan, which ones need to be challenged, and which ones can come right off.

And if you can't do that on your own, that's exactly what coaching is for.

Not to fix you. You don't need fixing.

Just to help you see what's already there, and support you while you take the next step.

Because the truth is, you've never been lazy.

You've just been carrying a lot. And sometimes you need someone walking alongside you to help you set some of it down.

✨ If you do the work, life will work for you. ✨

Ready to take the next step?

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With love and belief in you, Kimberly Boyd